Paper Chase

 Pitch in: Bruce Hibbs wrote that he lives in "sterile Johnson County and [doesn't] see the Pitch often" (Letters, July 4). Since I was reading a copy of the Pitch I picked up at the Sahara Café (8125 Metcalf), I can only assume that Mr. Hibbs doesn't venture north of 119th Street in Johnson County.
J. Kannard
Overland Park

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Child Labor
The kid's table: I just finished reading the letter to the editor from Debbie Gold (July 18). I, for one, will not be seeking their new restaurant out simply for the reason that I want a good dinning experience, not one where a small child answers the phone or where they play hostess.

With the background that Debbie and Michael Smith have, you would think that they would also want to run a professional place which, I think, includes not having your "cute" kid running around trying to help. If you're going to do this, wait until she is at least old enough to answer the phone properly and professionally.

So, in closing, I would like to tell 40 Sardines that I will not be a patron at their restaurant anytime in the near future.
John Shaft
Overland Park

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Chuck E. Sardines: Regarding the letter about the new 40 Sardines restaurant and their request for diners spending their hard-earned money to "be patient with our children": My wife and I were planning to check it out, but no way now. If restaurant owners attempting to provide patrons a nice night out actually expect them to be charmed by their kids, well ... I think they'll be surprised in the long run by just what a turnoff the presence of children can be to diners.

In fact, the busiest "nice" restaurants I know do not provide highchairs or booster seats for kids. It sounds illogical, but the theory is that kids are a nuisance to other patrons, and the business they lose via this inconvenience is more than offset by the business they gain from maintaining a non-Chuck E. Cheese atmosphere. (Though it should be said that even at Chuck E. Cheese, kids can't answer the phone.) It seems to work, and while I truly wish 40 Sardines a great deal of success, it sure won't be because I helped them.
Name Withheld Upon Request

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Stripper Search
Lap it up: I just got done reading Casey Logan's "Booby Trap" (July 25). I can't believe my tax dollars are being spent on man hours busting dancers for dancing too close to the pubic areas of men or women. The police should be out busting the real criminals for worse crimes.

This is a really poor attempt to drum up money for the city. The whole sting operation probably came about by some goody-goody complaint to the city or some bored vice commander with nothing better to do at night. What's worse is the tax money also being wasted in court plugging up real cases being fought and won.

Let's find better ways to spend our tax dollars, such as funding the light rail system for Kansas City or feeding the homeless.
Matt Cambern
Kansas City, Missouri

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Barnes Burning
Oh, Kay: I find it interesting that Kay Barnes has exaggerated the achievement of the 18th and Vine district to leaders from other cities (Kansas City Strip, July 25). Like everything else in Kansas City, the Jazz and Blues Museum was started on a political whim and has fallen prey to poor marketing and low attendance.

I've lived here my whole life and have made the simple observation that Kay Barnes is one of the least productive leaders that Kansas City has seen in generations. What right does this woman have to either call herself a "leader" or to play tour guide to visitors from other cities? If it were all left up to her, Kansas City would be a full-blown boomtown collection of abandoned buildings and crumbling landmarks. I wonder if she gave a close-up tour of our scenic downtown.
Jay Bendure
Kansas City, Missouri

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Monkey Business
Human intelligence: Shame on Allie Johnson for writing "Zoo De-Wourmed" (Kansas City Strip, July 18).

Most people do not know that the zoo does not house Asian elephants or emperor penguins. Three separate times, people asked me if I heard that the zoo director had been arrested for killing all of the animals. Different people told me that he had poisoned the snow leopard with arsenic (well, one person said "snow jaguar" because she, like most people who read the Pitch, isn't that smart) and that he stabbed an elephant to death. I was thinking that it would take an awful lot of effort and time to stab a 3-ton elephant to death.

I also heard that the "lady in charge of the orangutans said the animals were using sign language to tell her the director is a 'badman.'" I know that the KC Zoo is not advanced enough in its animal training to accomplish something like that. I told all of these people that the story can't possibly be true, mainly because it doesn't even make sense.

You cannot possibly expect the average person to be responsible enough to read far enough to see the fine print telling them that the story is fake. Just because Johnson is intelligent and creative enough to fantasize this story doesn't mean that your readers will see the humor, or even get the point. Granted, the zoo has its problems, but every zoo does. I happen to like the zoo; with enough funding, it could easily be world-class.

If Ms. Johnson has ethical issues with the zoo, or zoos in general, she should write about that instead. It would be a more persuasive form of argument that the average reader would understand.
Susan McDoogle
Kansas City, Missouri

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People for the ethical treatment of Wourms: I am appalled and outraged by Allie Johnson's "fake" story about Mark Wourms and the KC Zoological Park's dying animals. It was sick, not at all funny and unprofessional.

I hope the zoo director sues her for slander, dead geese or no dead geese. I was fully prepared to write all the local news stations, CNN and CNBC about her findings, only to find she was "just kidding." Even sicker than the possible animal abuse is her flippant attitude on the issue.