Night & Day Events

 4 Thursday
Rockhurst University Theater opens its 2001-2002 season with an ancient Greek comedy about the persuasive power of sex tonight at 8 at Mabee Theater, 1100 Rockhurst Road. In Lysistrata, the women of Athens and Sparta -- fed up with the Peloponesian War -- wage a sex strike, refusing to go to bed with their men until a peace treaty is signed. Although the main character, Lysistrata, has some difficulty recruiting the other women, who seem awfully fond of sex and less than eager to take an oath refusing it, she is eventually able to win them over. Though this play was first performed in 411 B.C., it contains enough sexual innuendo to make modern audiences blush. In a scene near the end, the play even calls for frustrated men to wear giant phalluses, demonstrating the miserable state that the sex strike has imposed. To be fair, Aristophanes seemed more concerned with the machismo of war than with putting on a sexy show. Tickets cost $5. For more information, call 816-501-4828.

5 Friday
Tonight is the Million Monkey Poetry Reading at the Apehouse, 517 East 18th Street. In addition to the lineup of poets -- both local and national writers are participating -- the country band Lovelorn provides live entertainment. The band is an appropriate one for a poetry reading, even if the culture surrounding country music seems contrary to the stereotypical wine-sipping, beret-wearing poets' scene. Lovelorn's between-song banter is intelligent and cleverly phrased, and songwriters deserve poetic recognition regardless of whether they prefer cowboy hats to berets. Judith Towse-Roberts, Tara Blaine, Kamilah Aisha Moon and Carl McCoy read from their recent writings beginning at 8, and the music follows. The atmosphere, like the venue, is low-key. For more information, call 816-471-2737.

6 Saturday
We thought the mystery meat in school cafeterias was scary enough on its own, but The Haunted Schoolhouse at Ward Parkway Shopping Center, 8600 Ward Parkway, puts a witch in charge of the cafeteria line. She replaces the standard harmless lunch lady, who might frighten kids with her neon-yellow gravy, but at least takes offense at the suggestion that it's anything but gravy. The Haunted Schoolhouse is spooky, planners note, but not terrifying, and actors modify the show according to the temperament of their young visitors. The Haunted Schoolhouse is up and running from noon to 9 p.m. and costs $4 a person. For more information, call 816-837-9033.

7 Sunday
People in Kansas City have been expressing their views on what to do in response to the terrorist attacks of September 11. Demonstrators will gather today at J.C. Nichols Fountain at 47th and Main for a peace rally they're calling Not In Our Name, indicating that whatever military retaliation our government takes is not necessarily desired by all the country's inhabitants. (Demonstrators are not the only ones who are tired of people doing things in their name; according to The Onion, God appeared at a recent press conference to clarify his stance against killing people. "Maybe I haven't made myself completely clear, so for the record, here it is again," the almighty reportedly said before reiterating "thou shalt not kill.") They'll also be celebrating plurality, using flags from some of the other nations that lost citizens in the attacks -- in addition to American flags. Meeting time is 1 p.m. For more information, call 816-931-5256.

8 Monday
Kansas Citians frequently refer to their homebase as a "cowtown" (as do our neighbors on the coasts, with some added scorn in the pronunciation). If it's an apt description, San Francisco's Swingin' Utters should feel right at home tonight. But even if this five-piece band sported a name without misspelled bovine overtones, its meat-and-potatoes songs would provide a good fit for the area's musical appetite. With Johnny Bonnel's gruff vocals adding beefy heft to the group's short, catchy tunes, the Utters graze on a variety of rock-based styles. For dessert, the group covers "Eddie's Teddy," Meatloaf's ditty from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Regional standouts Kosher and The Roustabouts will milk bursting Utters fans for applause at El Torreon, 3101 Gillham Plaza. For more information, call 816-419-7278.

9 Tuesday
While sensitive sorts struggle to be appropriate in the wake of the September 11 attacks, heavy metal forges ahead on tours stamped with unapologetically violent names. Less than a week after the Road Rage tour came to town, Memorial Hall hosts "Music As A Weapon," featuring Disturbed, Drowning Pool (whose hit "Bodies" was recently erased from playlists and dumped as a pro-wrestling theme song due to its now unseemly chorus Let the bodies hit the floor), Stereomud, Adema and Systematic. According to a late-August statement from Disturbed's David Draiman, "Music As A Weapon" refers to hard rock's "war" against "sugar-coated, nonsensical boy-girl pop." Perhaps the group has called a truce with Britney and Justin given the current push toward unity, but Disturbed hasn't shelved its reportedly shocking multimedia intro that Draiman describes as "the ultimate statement on how the world deals with people who don't fit in." Provided that the groups can steer their "Weapon" through heightened security, this show, at Memorial Hall, 600 North 7th Street, starts at 7 p.m. For tickets, call 931-3330.